saying GoodBye...

one of the hardest things, we are faced with doing is saying goodbye..
especially when it is someone whom you love..

a heartbreak is probably the hardest thing that you have to face.. the sight of someone you love just walking away..

now imagine, if it is someone.. closer.. then just someone you love.. but family..
and at that a brother...
your little brother..

and it as if he just got up and walked away.. but taken away from you..

today is my little brother birthday..
to many of you, you simply know him ..
as baby..

today he would have turned 20 years old..
and it just hits..
today for some reason out of all days...
it is one of the hardest one me..

 sit here.. and look back at my life..
look at everything..
all my accomplishments.
all my mistakes.
and i just think to myself .
could he have done better.
what would he think..

the thoughts in my head are so many that i simply don't know how to organize them,
how to put them in order so that i can
just walk threw them and deal with them.

my mind is a mess,
when normally i am able to have collected thoughts..
and emotions
today i am running a muck..
not knowing.. where to start.

i know that it is just me being in my head far to much..
but idk... can i help it?

at the end of the day.. its just me..
and

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME