inspirational thoughts

No matter what, once in your life, someones gonna hurt you. That someone will take all that you are, and rip it into pieces and they won’t even watch where the pieces land. But through the breakdown, you’ll learn something about yourself. You’ll learn that you’re strong. And no matter how hard they destroy you, that you can conquer anyone.


you must live your life... and know  everything that you choose to do.. is because of that.. 
you choose to do it.. 


don't just sit there and be a spectator. make your choices and fallow them threw.. do not  simply breathe to  exist but choose to inhale and exhale.. 
know that you make the difference to someone.. and that in reality you are never alone... 


and know that if you know me.. 
and are reading this.. 
that you are loved.. 


N THAT I LOVE YOU .. 

THE LIFE I LIVE

after this weekend and everything that has happened..
i have been sitting here.. and thinking of everything..

all that i do ..
all that i don't do..
and really thinking about

THE LIFE THAT I LIVE..

and the changes that i really need to do for that .. I need to change alot.
and from here on out.. the changes are going to come out..

i know that there is always a time .. to change.
to grow up.

and as alot of people can tell you  i am mature for my age..
i don't  go out and get drunk every weekend.. i don't really even drink at that..

i don't do any drugs.
i don't sleep around..

all my friends would probably describe me as being the NICE GUY..
the one whom is always taking care of everyone..
making sure that everyone else is ok.. and
everyone else.. is having fun...

but i think some changes need to be made
=]

JUST SOMETHING IN

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

CONFESSION

so i am blasting this song right now..
and  the first time  i heard this song. was because Hailey's comet told me to listen to it..
he told me it reminded him of me.. and reminded him of us...

i thought it would be a good song to put out there for those of you whom haven't heard it..
i believe this song is one that everyone can relate too..
you can always think of someone.. when this song comes on..

 i hope you enjoy it..

and on a  more person level i think it summarizes how i feel as of right now..
alot of my friends are always giving me shit or picking at me.. that i am always talking or getting to know someone.. going on dates.. so on and so fourth..
my cousin even went as far as to ask me what was wrong with me..
why i felt as if i always needed to be with someone..
why i couldn't be alone.. and just happy.

and this is what i believe..
i can not remember the movie at the moment but i just saw it recently.
where they said
love is a drug.
the strongest drug there is out there..
and you are always looking for your next fix.

i think that is it..
i am perfectly fine being alone..
and just being me..
i love the person that i am and that i have become.
and even though that there is still alot of room
for growth and improvement . i love my life as i stand right now.

but with that said..
i hate being alone.
i like the comfort of knowing that someone is there..
that i  can call on someone and they will answer..

just plain and simple..
i am in love
with being in love.

just more that adds to my
crazy mind.. of endless thoughts
and a maze of emotions..

ahhhhhh

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

THE NICE GUY

So why is it..
that it has been a year...
a year since we were together. and i continue. to be there.. i continue to be the nice guy
and be there for him when he needs something..

why i sit that i am stuck being " THE NICE GUY"
there are times that i just wanna be a dick.
i wanna say no.
i wanna be selfish.
but i cant..
why ?

I know that i should stop, i know that i shouldn't be there for him.,
i know that he is still the same person he was a year ago..

but why is it that i know it in my head.. but i cant put it into actions..
i simply don't
just want to be

" THE NICE GUY"

just more that adds into being

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME 

saying GoodBye...

one of the hardest things, we are faced with doing is saying goodbye..
especially when it is someone whom you love..

a heartbreak is probably the hardest thing that you have to face.. the sight of someone you love just walking away..

now imagine, if it is someone.. closer.. then just someone you love.. but family..
and at that a brother...
your little brother..

and it as if he just got up and walked away.. but taken away from you..

today is my little brother birthday..
to many of you, you simply know him ..
as baby..

today he would have turned 20 years old..
and it just hits..
today for some reason out of all days...
it is one of the hardest one me..

 sit here.. and look back at my life..
look at everything..
all my accomplishments.
all my mistakes.
and i just think to myself .
could he have done better.
what would he think..

the thoughts in my head are so many that i simply don't know how to organize them,
how to put them in order so that i can
just walk threw them and deal with them.

my mind is a mess,
when normally i am able to have collected thoughts..
and emotions
today i am running a muck..
not knowing.. where to start.

i know that it is just me being in my head far to much..
but idk... can i help it?

at the end of the day.. its just me..
and

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME