FRIENDS...

isnt it funny how some friends. you are super close with..
and then idk outta no where you stop talking..
and then your super close again
and then it just keeps repeating..

idk weird..

the end

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO THINK...

Ok.. so i have been talking to this guy..
and he seems amazing..
he honestly does...
im not ganna name him .because i simply don't want too .

he is doing almost everything right..
and idk i really like spending time with  him..
and he drops the bombshell that he is hiv positive.

i had always told myself that i could never be with anyone that was positive.. or i couldn't see myself with someone who was. simply because.. it honestly scares the shit out of me..
i have always been really careful ..
never slept around..

always wore a rubber.. because i ve been so scarred to every catch something..
but at the same time..
ugh idk

its just really i dont know what to do..

i know that with the proper precautions and everything... things will not be a problem.. and that things could go on with out ever having to worry about it..

but if your scarred to get burned why go sit right next to the fire..
you now what i mean.. i just don't know what to do..


just another part of

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

REAL CHOLAS

OK well i know that i haven't blogged in a while..
so here it goes..
REAL CHOLAS

it turns out that my friends and I have all gotten arrested with in the past.. two weeks..

first Jerry started it.. he was out at circus.. and they arrested him for something that is dumb... lol he was in for a day and then came out.. has court next month..  not to mention that a black man was rubbing up on his ass while he was asleep.

then there is Roman, he went to Beyond Wonderland.. Got arrested for a warrant.. and then got sent to pen .. he was in for 3 days... no food.. sleeping against a wall
watching trannys make thongs and dresses outta sheets..
and wearing socks in the shower. lol ..  not to mention he got some digit while he was in there.. cuz even when we are in jail we pull LOL

and now me..
this past weekend.. i went out with
Jerry. my cousin Carlos. Tb .. we went out and it was a great time
i met up with Oh La LA  , Valentino .. boiifriend.. and others.

MR. IKEA i guy that i used to talk too was also in WeHo so we said we would meet up to say Hi. since we hadn't seen each other in about a month.

So we were at motherlode.  i told my friends  that i would go to FIesta Cantina, to say hi.. i walked out there nd said hi to him. he told me he  was going home. so i told him i would walk him to his car..
i did .
then on the way we end up getting in a fight..
cops pull up and arrest all of us. and keep us in the holding cell for about n hour and  half.
then release Mr. Ikea and myself..

we are all just real CHOLAS now
just another part of

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

Remebering Kirby

OK .. so when Anastasia and I were younger..

we were both onto all those get rich quick plans.. 

lol

we were willing to try anything.. 

and i mean anything if it meant.. getting money .. 

so at the time.. our friend. Beverly Leslie 

had a boyfriend. that got this job. 

were supposedly he was making all this money a week. 

so Ana and i though to our self.. why not. 

we go

they interview us.. 

then they call both of us back. 

so we are all excited. 

they say we must go threw a three day training before being able to

start working. 

so Ana and i Get all excited for our first day. we dress up we are ready to go. 

of course we excelled in the training. and were possibly the best two in the class. 

the Name of the company was Kirby ( yes like the pink video game)

but as many of you may know it is Kirby Vacuums 

The Kirby Sentra to be exact. 

so they make us.. memories all these things 

like how the wheels are rubber coated to protect your tile and hard wood floor. 

how the body is made from dye cast aluminum so it is both light weight and durable. 

the hoses are made up of the same thing scuba suits are made out of so that they are durable and flexible and will stand the test of time. 

the fan blades are made of the same material as airplane purpler so that no matter what you suck up .. from a grain of rice to penny nothing can damage your KIRBY. 

no only is is a vacuum but it is a pet groomer, plumers helper, leaf blower, balloon inflater, carpet cleaner, mattress cleaner, can cleaner and many many many more.. and how could you possibly have ever lived with out .. the KIRBY SENTRA 

They tell us that the office will then schedule us app. and that we simply need to go and demonstrate how to use the device.. 

and if they chose to buy it after wards we get the amount of money specified.. 

sounds simple enough. 

so we get threw training.. 

and its our first day. 

as always we are running late. 

we get there.. 

we get into our group.. 

there is this huge speech in the morning of people clapping and stuff. 

and we go. 

out team was of 6 ppl 

so we are set to go. 

we stop at the gas station and ANA and I are both hungry but Rather just get food later on. 

we got a bag of chips to share and some sodas. 

then we notice that everyone else on our team are stocking up for the Apocalypse. 

buying sandwiches and multiple sodas and drinks and huge bag of chips 

cookies so on and so fourth . 

so we get to out "location"

off we go.. 

and that's it 

they just drop us off.. 

I'm sorry if this offends anyone.. but

it was like a van full of Mexicans being dropped off in the field to pick fruit all day. 

we walked for hours on end.. 

and no we DID NOT . 

have appointments. 

we were knocking door to door. to see if anyone wanted to see a demonstration 

and if they did we would do the whole routine to hear a NO. 

or NOT RIGHT NOW. 

all day with no eating. 

we left the office. at 8 Am and did Not return until 11 PM. 

safe to say it was our first and last day working for KIRBY.. 

and from then on. 

our get rich quick plans.. just simply stopped... 

ahhh the wonders of the KIRBY SENTRA 

this one is for Anastasia

So me and Ana are speaking to each other right now
and she is bored at work
sit atleast bitch has a job lol

so i found this video for her
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vecYnbyFIw

you better go watch it hoe

thoughts about PRINCESS

So as you guys know..
Princess and I started hanging out again
i mean at the begining we both said it would be friends..

but i mean idk its hard you know.
we were together for such a long time..
and it is hard for both of us..

at times we both want to jump in it..
act like we used too.. and just be princess and jon again..

but at the same time we are both holding back..
we start to be normal and then you can clearly see where we stop ..

as if we are both testing the waters with each other..

at the same time. i feel as if certain things dont change..
i see him make n effort..
and then i dont..
is it to much to ask ?
i dont mean that sarcastically..
just i mean. if you say your ganna do something then do it .... right ? =/

i mean princess is the one that showed me that..
idk.
anastasia tells me to pull back and not do anything els.e.
but i men i dont know

that is simply what sums everything up in a nut shell..

I DONT KNOW

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

GAME OVER YOU LOOSE

Do you remember when you were younger and you would go to the arcade.
you would play and hope that "GAME OVER" would never come out on the screen
so that you could just play for ever..

And when you it did come up .. your heart kinda sank but you would just pull out another quarter and play again and the excitement would all simply come back..

that is my analogy for dating..

you start with some one.. it is exciting.. everything is new.. new players.. new everything.. and you dread the day that "GAME OVER" will come out on the screen.. but you know that eventually it will ...
and when it does..
no matter how long or short the dating took place.. you are sad.. even for a bit.
and then you just simply pull out a new quarter and do it all over again..

but what happens.. if you haven't lost..
if "GAME OVER" hasn't came out on the screen...

that is whats happening right now..

you thought you could play two games. at once..
you thought i wouldn't find out..
but to late buddy
your quarter might still be in play
but its not GAME OVER..
I'm pulling the plug.
LIGHTS OUT...
GAME OVER YOU LOOSE...
but then at the same time..
as you have said
you dont see why i should be worried...

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

SUNDAY

So it was sunday yesterday the day after the wedding..
Jerry went home as he spent the night.

I woke up and got ready..
then I text Manny to see what Saul and her where doing..

they tell me they were cooking and to go over so I said ok.

I call jerry .. and tell him for us to go.. and he says hes already on his way..
so we go..
we eat

we laugh
we make fun of some people and i end up leaving.

on my way home.. i run out of gas wich has never happened to me.. at alll..
seriously..
  i was like WTF..

but Roxie came and saved the night.. thank you bestfriend..
in total was an amazing day..
just what i needed

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

THE WEDDING

So my friends. wedding was this saturday..
Roman was the made of Honor
Sarah a just a normal made LMAO..

 i show up at 11 am start doing her make up she comes out gorge..
then she gets ready..

everything hectic at the beginging.. as always with any event..
then the reception started
every one including chikita walked down the isle..

FOOD WAS BOMB.. seriously I WAS EATING THE WHOLE NIGHT..

music was good..
shots and drinks with everyone.. always makes it a good night

Sarahs black bf.. was dancing by himself in a corner.. LOL
that made it better =]

over all it was an amazing night.
the bride looked amazing.
and idk im happy to have been a part of their day.. =]

JERRY GETS ARRESTED

Ok
well like i said before. Jerry is one whom loves his alchol
and when he drinks he turn into a diffrent person

so he went out last night with a few friends..
and
he got drunk. then got a little to touchy with people. wich for him is normal
he always hits on girls end up making out with them..
touching them..
and so on and so fourth.
but this time it was such a bad move..
a bad . person..

so it was some black girl and
so he again started being the same old jerry


her friend end up getting mad and trying..
and trying to fight jerry
my other two friends.. that he went with..
ended up backing up jerry

it ended up being this big oh drama..
and the cops showed. up

the girl ended up pressing chargers on jerry.

and then he went to jail..
the chargers are sexual batery.
and
so he was in jail all night
and court date is set for april

his sister bailed him out for 20,000  and now he is out.. but yet.. something happened.

something that just adds to

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

Jason jason jason jason

Why is Jason so damn angry..
like seriously
he is either yelling at me
calling me catty or calling me fake..

ugh Jason

and the conversation just started lol
i still love em though..

i wouldnt trade em for anything..

the crazy life of me

VIDEO VIDEO VIDEO

Thoughts so you know.. are about Princess. 

about Manolo. 

life.. and just all types

of different things. 

                                                                                           

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME 

MY MOM CAUGHT ROMAN HAVING SEX

ok well she didnt walk in
but she knew what was going on lol ..

after mardi gras
roman and i came home..
and he had a boy come over..
no no no
he is not a hoe..
but still its and ex that they are starting to re keendle the fire..

so the boy comes over.
and i go to sleep in my room

roman and his boy go to Romans room...

the next morning..
my mom starts yelling at me..

and she asks me who was in the room with Roman .. lol

oh well ROMAN..
you got CAUGHT
bestfriend.. lol

just another thing in

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

A LETTER TO PRINCESSS

There are a million things that come to my head when i think of you ..
and even more memories..

but i want to start this off by saying I AM SORRY.

In our relationship..
alot of shit went down..
but i want to apologize for always putting you first..
i know that sounds weird to say.. but its true.

i didnt take care of me and was always catering to you... and in tell i let myself goo
and became un happy.. which just brought on more stress..

im sorry for not taking the time to actually forgive you ..
and just being selfish and pushing it all to the back ..
bottling it.. up and then later throwing it in your face
because in all honesty you didnt deserve that..

i am sorry for not listening to you.. when you would tell me that you needed something..
and i dont mean a glass of water.. or something..
but when you truly needed something..
always thinking i knew best..

im sorry for going along for the ride..
not putting my foot down. and establishing.. a set rules and space..

i know that it all sounds prettty stupid..
and i know it proably now doesnt matter.
but i dont know why .
 i just felt as if it was importatnt to apologize..
because i now see how things were actually wrong..

you were right when you used to tell me that i would never admit  to my problems..
and for that i am also sorry
and now i see that..

today. i read threw all of our old emails and messages..

and i saw something.. that at the time.. i never saw..

i know that you really did honestly love me..
and that i have never doubted..
i know that there were things that you couldnt control.

and i saw how much it was that i loved you..

i also saw you fighting for space..
fightind screaming for me to hear. you..

and i didnt..

I AM SO SORRY FOR THAT!!!!


i dont know.. where things are right now..
and honestly i dont care. lol
i like the fact that your in my life..
and im ganan enjoy it.. and enjoy our time together..

but i want you to know..
the promises i made you are still true....

and i honestly do still love you ....
=/

and i want to say thank you ....
thank you for leaving me when you did..
in all honesty it was the best thing you could have done.at the time..
i had lost myself..
and now i found ME.. just as you  have found YOU

i have grown alot in this past year..
and have done alot..
im not the same boy that you dated..

but being there..
seeing you ..
and just in total the past 48 hours
have sent a whirl wind threw my head..

i just want you to know
I LOVE YOU  as i always have
IM PROUD OF YOU ..
IM SORRY
and
THANK YOU..
and holding you.. and things.. idk it just felt right..
you will always feel soo small to me..
and you know what i mean by that..

and with you i still feel like super man
you have this ability to bring out the best in me..

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

Mardi Gra

last night was mardi gra in WEHO

and you know if there is  a theme party..
glitter
music
booze
the gays are sure to flock lol

so of course we all went
jerry
roman
myself and
TB (thug bottom )

out there we met up with
other friends..
and really did just enhoy ourself

as always ROMAN and I went of into our BAR HOPPING extraveganzas lol
and was just an amazing time...
=]

Jerry getting kicked out of trunks
Roman making out with random strangers...
TB just being a mess.
idk it felt like a full night lol

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

A Night of Reconnection

So after my day in valley
Princess asks me to go over..
so i Did..
as we have both been trying to hang out in a while..

i go over and his best friend Pookie is there..
so we are all sitting there talking..
hanging out..

and princess and i seriously start talking and catching up on the past year of your life and what has happened.. since we broke up ..

honestly i think it is something that is much needed..
and idk .. it was good.

i really enjoyed it..
i am really proud of Princess and everything that.he has accomplished this past year..
he is taking the small baby steps to get everything in order. to where it should be so that soon he can just
take off and fly.

i am happy that the promises he made me... he kept..
not for me.. or for us..
but kept them for himself..
because in all honesty that is what i truly did always want..
just the best for him

i think that he is in a very good. place right now..
and is starting to find a peace and happiness with in himself.
Pookie is an amazing friend..
and i m happy that he has dropped all the friends.. that were just pulling him down..

ALL IN ALL  I AM HAPPY I WENT...

I know now.. that I will always love princess. and that there is a place for him in my heart that no one.. will ever be able to take.. and that i need to stop trying to hide or deny

and surprisingly...
i no longer hurt for the things that had accrued in the past..
and completely forgive him... and as of right now.. when i think back to them.. dont know why
i held onto the hurt for so long..

i am soo excited to see him become.. the man
that i always saw in him...
the man that i know he can be..
the man that he lost along, the way.

the world better watch out.
thats all i can say...

I LOVE YOU ..

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

MY DAY IN THE VALLEY

so i went to the valley to hang out with Arnold.. and help him out with a few things..
met his little brother.. wich honestly is really cool
(idk why i get along with everyones little brother so much lol )

we then met up with Valentino Number 13
and the BAy..

we ended going to costco for some pizza
those of you that know me.. know that i love food
especially pizza
and more specific costco pizza mmm

so we all sit there
The Bay
Valentino
Number 13
Arnold and myself

The Bay can not go any where near the window.. cuz his ex boyfriend. works there wich at first made everything really uncomfertable..

but soon it turned out to be.. just laughs and Tranny talk lol

we then decied to go back to The Bay's apt to just hang out and watch movies..
youtube videos.. an
idk just be fags..

oh i forgot to mention that The Bay has a built in breathalizer into his car..
so if he is drunk it wont turn on..
i think its the funniest shit in the world lol ..
but idk its just there LMAO ..

wel yeah so over all
i really enjoyed my day in the valley.. soemthing completely new..
but well recieved..
the guys are amazing..
and idk it was good
=]

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

MEET PRINCESS

Princess.
is princess.

as before i described how i was married pretty much with my ex boyfriend.
and all the things that happened with in
our relationship

both negative and positive..
that made somethings.. idk just diffrent.
as the life experiences we live. alter the rest of our lives.

to me Princess.. will always be my LOVE..

i will not say that princess was my first love.. because i believe to have loves. before.
but he is my first true love..
the first guy i gave my whole soul too ...
and no one ever can compare to princess.

i want to make sure i intoduce him properly... because i think he is ganna be playng an important role..

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

THIS ONE IS TO THE FRIENDS

In this blog post i am going to use everyone real names..
simply because i think this one is important..
so here we go

In No particular Order

Ashley, mamma you don't know how much it is that i love you and that i miss you . I am so proud of you for doing what you have, and raising my nephew on your own.. finding away to make it threw what ever obstacles come your way.

Jlynn, wow.. thats all i have to say.. yeah we get into it.. yeah. you scream at me.. yeah i scream at you. but honestly Jay i fucken love you . oh sooo much.. seriously.. i do.. you just get me. and you know what im thinking before. i am even thinking it.. some of the words of advice that you have given me still stick to me till this day.. you have seen me threw some really shitty times.. and idk.. i thank god that i have you by myside.

Elithabeth.. BITCH BITCH BITCH. your my BITCH. i think out of everyone you and I bump heads the most and i know that you are always looking out for me.. and always trying to watch my back.. i know that out of everyone.. i can call you no matter. what and that you will be there.. I AM SOO SORRY. for shit that has happened in the past and you know that i mean .. you have one of the sweetest hearts i think i have ever... seen .. I am so glad that you have found your Knight IN Shinning EMT uniform lol .. honestly cuz babe you deserve all the happiness in the world.. you really do. you know my fagget ass is ganna be there every step of the way.. bumps and all .

Louren... BABE i admire your strength sooo much.. i know that things havent been easy.. not just lately but for a while.. but you always seem so strong.. and i admire that so much.. you have this light to yo.. that is indescribable.. you just simply make me happy.. just by sitting with me in my garage.. i miss you soo much and hate how we havent been the same.. but i know you married . now.. i am happy you have B .. he grounds you.. and idk its a good thing.. i can see the love that is between both of you ..

MR AMARO. .. well gibby what can i say about.. your my soul sister lol ..
i know that we fight.. especially when your drunk.. but in all honesty.. your my brother..
you lived with me.. our conversations in the green room.. the fagalow hills.. walking the strip together when i think of you.. i just think of all these happy memories.. i am so thank full that i have been able to live them with you and so much more to go.. I HONESTLY LOVE YOU ... and when with you .. laughing is a must..

GIA PIA.... your more then just my daughter... your idk .. AMAZING...
alot of people dont know you as well as i do.. and its so sad.. people just see jorge.. the alki that is loud. dancing and making friends at a club..
but alot of people dont see Jorge the bestfriend..
the guy that drives in the middle of the night so i can sleep
the one that is there to calm me down.. when im about to loose it.
the guy that sits there.. and talks to me.. about real shit.. real talks..

JESSICA CARMEN ZUNO...
your one for the books.
you ambition , drive and strive for excellence is honorable..
it like your the youngest ..
but surpass all of us.. with sheer hunger to succeed.
but babe you need to slow down and enjoy today.. stop living in tomorrow..
your amazing.. with an amazing personality and an even better heart..
the past couple.. days.. i ve seen a side to you.. that takes me back to a real hard time..
and babe.. it hurts me sooo much to see you there..
because it makes it all so real.. i can feel you pain.
YOU ARE SOO MUCH BETTER THEN THIS..
and im so proud and just idk thankful to always have you in my corner..
like i told you. you have always been my personal cheerleader.. and you have always..
pushed me forward.. for that i am endlessly grateful

April..
I AM AMAZED by you and your family..
the kindness.
honestly i consider you guys family and you know that i would
give the shirt off my back to make sure
that you guys are ok.
words cant describe how much i love you ..
love your mom
your dad
your sister.
stop fucking around with all those dushe bags lol
THE COLOR IS GREEN

ART.. MY LITTLE HUNNI HUNNI BEE..
i love your ass.. you are simply just there .. when i need you and want you and even when i dont. and that is why i love you.
we have made it threw the test of time..
you gibby and I .. idk i think there is something there.. that simply cant be broken..

Alfredo/Melissa ..
BROTHER FROM ANOTHER MOTHER..
whether its mission to no where.
endless weho nights
crazy nights in your room
or you busting mission to pick me up ..
i love you brother..
we have both been there for each other..
when i have broken down in tears..
you are just there..
thank you..
im happy for where you are in your lilfe.. and i know that the only direction for  you is UP

BRYAN SILVA.. i love your beaner/ shaikra loving ass.
your the kind of friend.. that i dont have to see every day.. or talk to every other.. but when i do see you.. its amazing.. you saw me when i was my happiest..
then saddest and then normal..
and always been there making sure i didnt stay in the hole..

MRS BIANCA.. I AM SOO THANKFUL TO HAVE MET YOU..
you and i have kindred spirits. you are probably the one of the only good things that came out of that shit hole we called a school .. but i would go threw all the bullshit.. and all the attitudes. and everything a million times over.. if i were to know i would come out at the end with such an amazing person in my life as you.. you were there to hold me up when at times.. i felt as if i was too weak to hold myself. up..
you pulled me out of the gutter brushed me up and threw me back into the world and i dont think i can ever express how thankful i am for that..
LA CAPILLA. SEA FOOD PORT... and HAIR SHOWS.. I LOVE YOU

CARLA SEALS.. i dont give a fuck what anyone in the world has to say about you.. babe you DO YOU .. all the time.. and i admire your strength and your individuality .. you are one crazy ass hoe.. but together.. we are a force to be wrecking with.. i dont think i have anything negative to say about you... your home.. is like another home for me.. and with you i fell incredible..

Nani... i dont think anyone.. and i mean anyone. can compare to you.. WHY i dont know.. but in all honesty you on a different level.. we have this ability to be idk.. just amazing.. you bring out the best in me.. i can tell you anything.. and know that.. it stays there.. i know i can not talk to you in months.. but call you needing you and your Right there.. that regardless of your surroundings.. or anyone .. you still have my back.. I LOVE YOU NANI..

I KNOW THAT I DONT TELL YOU GUYS ALL THE TIME.. AND I KNOW I REALLY SHOULD BUT I LOVE ALL OF YOU .. IN YOUR OWN SPECIAL AND UNIQUE WAY. YOU KNOW THAT I AM THERE FOR ALL OF YOU IN YOUR OWN WAY.. AND THAT I WILL ALWAYS HAVE YOU GUYS BACK..

WE ALL ALWAYS SECOND GUESS OURSELF..
BUT PLEASE .. DONT EVER FEEL LIKE YOUR LESS THEN PERFECT.
OR NOTHING.
CUZ TO ME YOU ARE ALL PERFECT...

I LOVE YOU

-Jonathan..

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

Last Night

SO last night i decieded to go to tigerheat last minute
and since
justin and roman were at a fashion show..
i then was shit outta luck
lol
but jerry was still around.
so i get jerry.
a new friend. mathew.
and drive out to pick up
edwin.
we all head out to tigerheat.
we get there..
and we start the line.
pretty soon.
Erik, josh, victor, vincent, and many other show up.
and our group of 4 turns into a group of 12.

as we walk in
Valentino and Number 13 are there
along with boyfriend and OhLALA.
and not to mention
Arnold.

Over all it was a great time and i am happy i did..
filled with dancing laughing.
and
a little fighting but a great night...

another night
in
THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

THE POWER OF MUSIC

i think the music is something all of us enjoy
not mattering the genre
or the artist
or the age of the person
everyone enjoys music.

music is s powerful
and can evoke
many things
from feeling. to memories
make you smile, cry or laugh

the power of music is just amazing..
and idk ..
just thought i would put it out there

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

LOVE

LOVE   
love is a very controversial subject with alot of people
some people love to love
while other love to hate love.
but which ever side it is that you take
there is something no one can Deny.

YOU WILL EXPERIENCE LOVE IN YOUR LIFETIME.

Some like to say that you can live your life fall in love.. and fall out of love and then just keep going..

But i very strongly disagree
i do not think that you can fall out of love, or that love actually dies.
i Think that love is such a strong feeling, a strong emotion that it completely changes you .. it changes how you act. how you think and the things you do. And because of you that you can never fall out of love.
because the change will always be a part of you .

everyone has their first love. so  pure.. so unconditional and so naive

and i think this is the hardest love to let go of.

What i do believe is when you know that the love you are feeling..
is not good.
that the situation you have been putting up with or the circumstances that have arisen are not suitable for you.
that the relationship you are par taking in has become a poison.
that that you must get yourself out of .

that i do believe in ..
but the love that you have for the person
will always be there..
because if it isn't.
then that simply wasn't love

love turns your world around.
it makes everything go upside down ..

love is something that everyone strives for.. everyone searches.
sometimes you aren't even looking for it .. and when it hits
nothing is stronger.

THAT IS LOVE

and even the least affectionate..
and the coldest of hearts will feel it,

and it will change you...

my thought about LOVE is that is amazing.
it is indescribable..
but it is LOVE

something.. i was thinking about.
as i lay in my bed..
starring at my black celling
listening to the songs my itunes plays as it is on shuffle..




Just...
THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

Thoughts.. just Thoughts

Do you ever get that feeling...
its soo deep inside. that something isnt right.
that something is up
and you dont know what and you dont know how to explain it.. but you feel it soo deep inside your gut.

i have that feeling right. Now.. i feel as if something is going on.
and certain things just idk
they just feel off you know what i mean

i am sitting here with my brother. just watching a show on prisoners.
and it hit me like a brick wall ..
something is going on...
ugh i hate it.. but its true..

idk

any ways...
today was an ok day actually

i woke up i went for a run.
i added more to the website that i am getting ready to Launch.
i played some video games. and really just chilled.

i hung out with a friend. went to a record store.
and then to Victoria gardens and then the mills lol

but it was cool just chilling with a friend..

the funniest thing just happened..
that as i was writing this.
she texted me..
completely not knowing what was going on and simply said
I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING WRONG IS GOING ON, I LOVE YOU JON

seriously who would think that someone i met on such a fling would come out to be such a great friend..

any ways.. ganan just chill out and watch TV with my bro.
tomorrow.. i think I'm ganna go to school lol
i don't know yet.

we shall see how i feel.
and i think i need a new hobby.
or idk something
a new job my days feel so empty now..
as if i am just living with no purpose..

so that is that ..
and things will be what they are
just different things that make up

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

MONDAY

Monday wich was yesterday I woke up
cleaned.
went to go eat with my mom .
and then i went to the movies with
Roman.
Justin
and
Ashley .

We ended up seeing I am number Four.
and it was actaully a really good movie..
the actor..
bomb..
honestly he is a cutie
his dad.
is a cutie as well lol

it is always a good time when i am with them ... lol
walked around the mall and laughed.

i went to Manolos had a quick conversation with him.
and then left.

i went to my trannys house.. had a talk to her.
and idk i love her.
she put so many things in perspective for me
and let me know exactly what i needed to hear.
now i am back to who i am orgianlly am ..
and idk
im happy =]

just another part of
THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME

RECAP ON WEEKEND

Okay so
on sunday
Jerry and I went to
see Manny and Saul .
We hung out and just laughed..
then pretty soon Jerry left and Dina came.

Then Mannys friend Wherra came..
we started drinking and making plans for the night
we decided to
go Oasis..
and it was alright

with manny saul dina and wherra it was a great time
but then i started to sketch out.
because of everything that was going on .
Manolo was there.. and idk it was weird.. lol

But i think it was needed.. somethings needed to come to a head...

THE CRAZY LIFE OF ME